2 weeks in

Before I get into the last two weeks, here are a few more photos from our trip.  Now that we are in a fixed position and I have all the pictures we took together in the same folder, I can finally find them!  Here is our 'red couch' photo, taken at the White Swan Hotel where many another group of adoptive families has taken their new child's photo.  Usually the group of babies is sitting on the couch together.  Inevitably there is one or more who is crying, slumping, uncooperative.  We had one of those in our group.  No crying, but no sitting prettily either.  There's always one.

Lunch at Lucy's on Shamian Island.  Turns out spaghetti is a big hit with our newest.  She's a noodle girl no matter how you fix 'em.

Hanging at the hotel.  We did alot of this.  Found an empty corner on the 4th floor of the Garden Hotel where we could burn a little energy without disrupting guests or staff.

We've been home almost two weeks now.  Things continue to go very well.  Faith continues to seem to be delighted with her new environment.  She was enthralled with the house, her room, the things we had waiting here for her.  It made me aware all over again of just how affluently we Americans live, even those of us who are striving to 'live more with less'.

We all seemed to get over the jet lag within five days of being home.  The first night home (after 25 hours of traveling) we slept from 8pm to 8am.  The kids would have slept longer, but it was Christmas morning and we wanted to be to church by 10:00, so I woke them all up.  They stayed up all day, went to bed late (with a aid of  little melatonin) and slept until after 10 the next morning.  One of them may have slept until noon.  From there we were on regular bedtimes, and they gradually woke earlier each day. We had no trouble being up for school on Tuesday after more than a week of adjusting.  This seemed so much easier this time than the last time, when Melinda and I seemed to spend a good two weeks up from 1am to 5am before she finally shifted her nights and days.  One of the benefits of older child adoption.  :) 

We are seeing alot of the expected regression behaviors and I am surprised to find myself gritting my teeth through them.  I know the behavior is all completely normal.  I know it will pass.  And I am surprised at how hard it is for me to be at peace with this stage and this process.  When she finally started speaking, every other word uttered was 'No'.  We're now to every 4th word, so progress is being made.  But oh! how it grates on me to hear her telling me no endlessly.  Her: Momma?  me: Yes? her: No!  Me: Hungry? her: No! Banana.  Her: Game? me: OK her: No!  My mantra has been "ok we're in the 2 yr old stage now...smile and say Yes!"  She also calls Mama mama all. day. long.   I've started responding with Faith! rather than Yes?, since the answer to What? or Yes?  is No!.    Baba suggested she just likes to hear the sound of her own voice naming her (finally!) mama.  Maybe so.


This week it has been baby noises that are getting to me.  Shrill, shrieky baby cries, followed by giggling.  Crawling up the stairs instead of walking.   Last night I held her in the rocker like an infant and rocked her, singing Hush Little Baby.  Last week she would have bolted out of the chair after the first three words.  This week she stayed put all the way to the end of the song.  Fabulous progress!  I know she needs this and I'm happy to oblige.  But I gotta be honest, it feels a little weird to be singing lullabies to a lanky 9 and a half year old.

We are playing lots of board games, card games and dice games.  She is loving them.  When we are not playing she is asking to.  We are doing lots of object naming and English learning.  It has been really helpful to have learned how to perform a running dialogue of everything we are seeing for our visually impaired son.  It is second nature to me to be naming - out loud - every single thing we see and do.  And so she hears and sometimes repeats lots of nouns and verbs.

So while things are going very very well, one other surprise I've had these last two weeks is the adjustment it has required of me.  I find myself mourning the loss of the threesome we were all day while Daddy worked,  and that has been a surprise.  Something I didn't expect.   I am praying for God's grace, that this will be a short lived battle not evident to the little ones.

New US citizen

We have arrived in San Francisco and are awaiting our flight to Portland. Being a Hague I800 adoption, our arrival in the US makes Faith automatically a US citizen. We are pleased that all three of our littles have arrived in the US via the port of San Francisco. Here's hoping the paperwork is processed properly this time. (Melinda's paperwork was filed rather than processed when she arrived. Many visits to USCIS and Social Security were required to get that mess straightened
out!)

All three did really well on the long flight over the Pacific. Everyone slept a little. Faith has remained cheerful and excited throughout our journey out of China. I continue to be amazed at what a trooper she continues to be as her world transforms before her eyes.

Baiyun Mountain

Today we rode the tramway to the top of Baiyun (White Cloud) Mountain. 

And more importantly, Faith has started practicing the English she's been learning with us this week.  We've heard a lot of "No' and 'I don't know' from her today.  We've looked at all six sets of bilingual flash cards we bought last week and named each object.  She's readily named the ones she knows (cat, dog, cow, banana, yellow, green, red, orange, blue).  Hooray for progress! 

CA

First thing this morning found us at the US Consulate for our consulate appointment and visa application.  Tomorrow afternoon Faith's passport and visa will be ready for pick up.  It's been a long week, but we're finally to the tail end of it.

Yesterday we traipsed back over to Shaiman Island and did a little souvenir shopping.  Bought each of the kids their own chops, which was very fun.  Resisted the urge to buy Chinese New Years clothes, which I may regret when we get home.  But I am trying very hard not to spend money on 'stuff', even if it is cool 'can't get it at home' stuff.  We had lunch at the deli next to the White Swan Hotel, hung out in the park near Lucy's, stopped at Starbucks and then came back to our hotel.  We had dinner at a fast food joint down the street and ice cream cones from McDonald's before calling it a day.  (I'd tell you what we did Tuesday but it's such a distant memory - I'm thinking it must have been  'not much'!)
 
Today we were done with our big event by 9am.  We are finding ourselves less and less motivated to be out and about with the kids.  They are tired of being schlepped.  We are tired of schlepping them.   So today we are playing lots of Go Fish, Uno and Carcasonne in our room.   I have started packing up to go home.  I have one and a half suitcases packed, clothes laid out for the next two days, and am starting to weed out all the paperwork the kids have generated during our stay at the Garden.  By this time tomorrow I'll likely have us all packed and ready to go, just to be busy doing something, despite having another night's sleep ahead of us.   I feel a little bit guilty about not reveling in the opportunity we have to be here in China.  But at this point we're starting to feel like we've been here forever, with very little to do between appointments.  Am I the only one that found this so long and hard?

Waiting for CA

Herein begins the long wait for CA.  We have completed all the other official requirements and now are simply waiting for our consulate appointment and the visa that will be issued the following day.  Unfortunately we must wait until Thursday and Friday for this, which means a long week for all of us.  (Some of us are really ready to not be living in a hotel room any more.)  Saturday morning we went to Carrefour, where we found a few things to entertain the kids.  We had lunch at Papa John's and dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Tekila.

Sunday we went to Shamian Island to attend the 11am service at Christ Church Shamian Island.  We had lunch at Lucy's and spent the afternoon walking around, playing on the playground next to Lucy's, resting on the red couches at the White Swan, and doing lots of running and jumping.  We had hoped to meet up with other adoptive families for dinner, but never found them.  Everyone was drooping in the cab on the way back to our hotel.

Our 'red couch' photo

Monday we got adventurous and figured out the subway system in Guangzhou, which took us to the Safari Park.  So much fun!  The subway turned out to be pretty easy - stops announced in both Mandarin and English and a lighted map that shows you exactly where you are on the line.  There was a free shuttle bus from the Metro to the Safari Park and back.  We spent a full day walking through the park, riding the 'safari on wheels' tram and then walking back to the South exit for our bus back to the metro.

Faith has been with us for over a week now. We've seen a bit of mischievousness the last couple of days - teasing her siblings, dashing out from under a hand on her shoulder, with a grin on her face - which we are taking as a good sign of further comfort in her new environment.  But she continues to only nod in response to our attempts to engage her.  I'll be happy when this phase is behind us. 

Orphanage visit

Yesterday we made the trip out of Guangzhou to visit the SWI where Faith had lived since finding (at 4 days old) until Monday.  It was as I expected, though it surprised her father a bit.  She continued to be quiet and subdued throughout the trip down and during our short stay.  As we prepared to leave, the ayi that spent the most time with her (the one they referred to as 'her ayi') took her aside briefly.  I have no idea what was said, but Faith's eyes were moist when that interchange was over.  She wept a little as we drove away, but within a few miles was asleep beside me.  As her head bobbed I tried to lean her into me, but she jolted awake and upright instead of relaxing, then a while later she fell back to sleep, upright.

Once back to the hotel we were back to our usual 'routine' of quiet compliance.  We've brought a number of games that don't require language and she's enjoying them with us.  We also did some more 'school' this morning and she willingly repeated object names as we worked with flashcards.  (So wonderful to hear her voice!)   We've discovered during our 'school' time this week that she has all the times tables memorized and can name all the letters of the alphabet, both upper and lower case.  She also knew a few of Alex's sight words.  Sure would be nice to know what they'd been teaching in her English class this Fall.  We were told at the orphanage that she'd stay up until 10pm at night to do school work and is a very good student.  She clearly enjoys our 'paperwork' time each day.  She has beautiful handwriting.  I'm starting to think that our plan to delay school enrollment until September may need to be revisited.  So hard to know.

Thursday, Medical

Today we were back to the medical office to read the TB test and do the rest of the medical evaluation.  TB test was fine, so no lung x-ray needed.  Temperature, blood pressure, ENT all fine.  There were questions about her special need I couldn't answer but the physical exam (during which pants and socks were removed but not panties or shirt) provided my first opportunity to see some of my new daughter's skin, including her limb differences that have been hidden under shoes and socks all week.  I have to admit I wasn't prepared for how independent she is with self-care, nor how private.  I was expecting to fill the tub and help her into it.  I am prepared for behaviors younger than her chronological years and I mistakenly included helping her dress in that expectation.  But alas, she changes in the bathroom behind a closed door.  She handles her own shower and toileting.  So there haven't been opportunities to see what her legs and feet (which had surgery some time ago) actually look like.  And the drying off after a bath, lotion before pajamas that I envisioned as opportunities for bonding and attachment - not happening. I've been forcing 'cuddle time' every now and then just to create opportunities for physical contact.   So far she's still rigidly enduring it, but I hope that with time she'll eventually soften and ultimately seek the physical closeness.  She's also still saying next to nothing.  She responds to questions with a nod of the head - usually 'no'.  We've tried the translator, and she'll listen to what we 'say' via translation.  But she doesn't initiate any conversation.  I so get it - she's been with us just 5 days and pretty much doesn't understand a thing we say.  But I'd love to know when I can expect a bit more engagement on her part.  I don't want to push it, but I also don't want us to get 'stuck' in a pattern of behavior that is less than ideal.

After the medical visit we walked around Shamian Island.  We walked through the first and second floor of the White Swan, took our 'red couch' photos, dropped off our laundry and had a delicious lunch of dumplings and noodles high above Jordon's. 

Our official paperwork and appointments are now complete except for the US Consulate and US Visa next Thursday.  Yay!

Passport day

Today our only commitment was a 3pm appointment to do the passport paperwork.  (Talk about efficient.  We marveled at how well run, quick, and unlike a visit to a government office back home, our 20 minutes at the Entry/Exit office was.)  We ventured out this morning to the Guangzhou Book Centre, hoping to pick up some reading material for our new 9 year old.  She was less than helpful in identifying books that she could a) read and b) be interested in.  We asked for help from staff, but she wasn't forthcoming with them either.  Even when asked the question in Mandarin there was only silence for a response.  Sigh.  We bought a few things, but nothing like the 'library' I had in mind when we walked into the place. I guess she'll be doing most of her reading in English...when she has learned enough of it.  Before the trip to the book store we did some of the 'paperwork' I brought from home.  Alex was showing signs of the lack of structure we've experienced since we left home, so this morning I announced the new routine.  Get up, go to breakfast, come back to the room and do 'school', then go on a field trip, dinner, baths and bed.  All three of them happily worked at the desk for a good half hour this morning.  Alex and Faith copied sight words, then read what they had copied.  They then moved onto worksheets from the Kindergarten review book.

After lunch we came back to the hotel for rest time.  Some of us played a few games (Carcasonne!)  while others of us napped. 

The passport office was quick and easy, and then we were off to a park (our request) to burn off some pent up energy.  The kids had a blast swinging, peddling (a fabulous contraption that had  wheels, seats, handle bars and peddles affixed to a large metal hoop, so that all the riders peddling together spun the thing around.  Biking without going anywhere....perfect!)  We then went out for another fabulous dinner.  We love, love, love the food here!

Alex and Melinda are all over Faith - they hold hands everywhere we go.  M announcing that Faith is her best best friend.  Faith seems to really enjoy her new 'big sister' role and is quick to help the others when needed (Melinda was trying to use chopsticks at dinner and Faith reached over to hold the tops together for her as she struggled.)  She is as quiet as a mouse, answering questions with a nod of her head rather than any words.  It is starting to stress me out.  I hope she soon gets up the courage to start using the English they say she's learned since September.  I am eager to hear her sweet voice.

Tomorrow we have the medical exam and the TB test read, then we'll spend some time on Shamian Island.  Looking forward to it!

Day 4

Today we headed back to the provincial offices to finalize the adoption.  After a '24 hour Harmonious period' - really an overnight with your new child - we were asked if we still liked her, promised we'd never abuse or abandon her, and finalized her adoption.  Again today we saw all the other families who'd been at the office yesterday and enjoyed talking with a number of them while we waited for our turn with the notary and the provincial official.  The kids were so patient throughout the process.  Miss M was particularly enamoured with two little girls - twins who were 21 months old.  She couldn't stay away and luckily their new parents didn't seem to mind her fawning over them.  (When not playing with babies, she joined the other two in playing with electronics.)

From there we went over to the medical offices on Shamian Island where the TB test was administered.  It will be read on Thursday when we go back for the medical exam.  Then it was off to lunch, where the kids devoured great quantities of spagetti and meat sauce, macaroni and cheese.  Our guide stayed for a bit after lunch and Faith took the opportunity to share that she was missing her ayi's and others at the SWI.  We assured her it was ok to be sad and miss them, even ok to cry if she wanted to.  She's been working so hard at being strong throughout this process.  Poor thing.  Later in the afternoon I scooped her up and just held her on my lap.  She didn't resist, but she didn't snuggle in either.  Not unexpected, of course, since it's been barely 24 hours we've been together.  But we've got our starting point and I'm so glad to see her sharing her feelings.  She says very little when our guide isn't here.  I'm not sure how much is knowing we won't understand her and how much is trying to stay as invisible as possible.  But at least she's talking to our guide and letting us in a tiny bit.  All good signs, I think.

My three musketeers

Later in the afternoon we took bottles of bubbles outside and the three of them had a blast blowing bubbles, chasing and popping them, catching them back on the wand.  Faith seemed much more comfortable out of the confines of the hotel room, so our strategy for the rest of the week is to stay busy out and about in between appointments. Tomorrow we go to the passport office late in the afteroon, so we have nearly all day to put that plan into practice.  We're thinking we'll go to the seven story bookstore and stock up on language materials.  Should be fun!

Thank you all for your continued prayers - we have felt the power of those prayers and God's love and care for us all this week, for sure!

Gotcha!

Glory to God! Our first meeting could not have gone better. Faith was smiling and eager to be with us. They said she's been excited for us coming for weeks. She had gifts for us she proudly distributed. She is a sweetheart!

We were able to ask lots of questions of the ayi's (but in the general commotion of document signing and kid wrangling have lost the notes I took, so from memory...)

She is talkative and social, only unhappy when she is alone. (So far she's been quiet and oh so polite). She eats everything (and lots). She is afraid of storms, is accustomed to sleeping with the lights on (apparently they never turn them off at the SWI). She started English in school in September. She is completely independent in showering and dressing. (This one surprised her 6 yr old brother....Alex take note...)

Please continue to pray that we'll be able to communicate well despite the total language barrier. She's been so upbeat, I pray that the frustration of not being able to be understood during these early days doesn't undermine our good spirits.

Sent from my iPhone

Days 1 & 2

Friday morning we woke up at our airport hotel, eager to start of journey.  Our first hiccup came when we realized the winter coats we intended to leave in the car (which had departed the night before with DD#1) were still with us.  We set upon mailing them back home.   Hiccup #2 came when Miss M woke with a bloody nose.  Dry hotel room air didn't agree with her sensitive membranes.  It took awhile, but we eventually staunched the flow and got down to breakfast.  First purchase of the trip - nasal spray at the hotel gift shop.  Joy.  We'll be in hotels for two weeks - she'll need all the help she can get.  And since we were on a roll  dealing with the unexpected, hiccup #3.  As we walked away from the checkin counter three suitcases lighter Mr A announces "there's a little blood."  What?  Didn't we already deal with enough blood this morning?  I don't recall "deal with blood' on my to do list.  His been-loose-for-more-than-a-month tooth has chosen this very moment to let go and bleed.  Five minutes into the security line wait, the tooth is in my hand.  Did we really need to be managing teeth today?  (We are happy to report that the tooth fairy had no trouble finding him and his tooth in Hong Kong when we finally laid our head on pillows again.)

We had an uneventful flight to Vancouver (the very best kind), ate lunch, boarded our plane to Hong Kong, spent an interminable amount of time airborne, then arrived in Hong Kong 14 hours later.  We spent a lovely night at the SkyCity Marriott.  Great hotel, wonderful staff, convenient shuttle service.  We were all in bed with lights out at 9pm local time and quickly asleep.  The kids slept a full night.  Both had napped for just a couple of hours or so on the plane, so were really ready for some solid sleep.  Unfortuately, despite next to no sleep on the plane, I only managed to stay asleep until 3am.  So I'm dragging today.

This morning we took the train from Hong Kong to Guangzhou.  We are filling up the passports with entry and exit stamps.  Mr A is showing signs of some anxiety and was a relentless pest as we navigated from the trian to our waiting guide.  No amount of calm (and not so calm) encouragement has dissuaded him from alleviating the stress by teasing his little sister.  During one of his calmer moments he asked what people in China would call him.  We had an interesting little discussion about how he could choose whether to use his American name or his Chinese name while we are in China.  He thought probably his Chinese name would be best.  It was interesting to watch the wheels turning in his 6 year old brain.

We are now settled at the Garden Hotel and, while still pretty bone weary (and worried about Mr A's choices for coping behaviors) eagerly await meeting Faith tomorrow afternoon.  Praising God for our safe journey to the other side of the world and continuing our prayers for His help with her transition.

On our way

We are off! 24 hours from now we'll be in Hong Kong. 48 hours after that we'll be with Faith.

Our itinerary looks something like this:

12/10: Arrive Hong Kong
12/11: Arrive Guangzhou via train from Hong Kong
12/12: Gotcha!
12/13: Finalization at provincial offices
12/14: TB test administered
12/15: Medical appointment
12/16: TB test read
12/17: Orphanage visit
12/18 - 12/21: Rest / Tour
12/22: Consulate appointment
12/23: Pick up visa
12/24: Train to Hong Kong, fly home

We are all super excited to be on our way. Please pray for our health and stamina (and that I will find unending supplies of patience throughout the trip). Thank you prayer warriors!

An update just before travel

We received an unexpected surprise via email today!  An update!  She is now 50 inches tall (2 inches taller than last time we got measurements) and 55 pounds (7 lbs heavier).  And pictures - oh my!  She's grown! 

See you Monday, sweetheart.  (I can't believe I can finally say exactly when we'll meet!!!)

Travel Approval !!

We have received the final piece of paperwork required to book our trip to China!  We will finally be bringing Faith home, after 13 long months of paperwork and waiting, we are finally going to meet our daughter!  We received our Travel Approval (TA) on Wednesday and our confirmed Consulate Appointment (CA) this morning.  "Gotcha" Day is Monday, December 12th.  Please join us in praying that God will guide us to do all that we can to ease the transition for FuDi.  Such a big change for such a little girl.

God's grace

God has been amazingly present in our lives lately. Two weeks ago M and I were in a car accident.  Traffic had slowed suddenly and the guy behind us didn't notice.  He rear ended us, pushing us into the car in front of us.  Our car was totaled.  His car was totaled.  The third car lost a bumper.  I ended up with some nasty burns from the airbag explosion (both front airbags deployed), but otherwise we were all unharmed, through the grace of God and a good and sturdy Volvo.  The emergency responders were all pretty amazed that we were ok.  Our insurance company was top notch and 10 days later we were buying our replacement.  I really wanted another Volvo, but we had also (for months) been talking about needing a larger car when Faith is finally home with us.  Our plan had been to just squeeze in until we our finances were a bit more secure.  We thought we needed to finish with the adoption expenditures before starting with a car expense.  So back and forth we'd talk about getting a mini-van.  I did some research back in the Spring and identified two candidate models.  Both had great reviews for safety and longevity.  And since we were planning and dreaming, I also announced that I wanted it to be navy blue.

So when we found ourselves forced to start looking for a new car, we looked at both replacement Volvos and mini-vans of the make and models identified.  We test drove one Volvo, looked at a couple of others, then ran across a mini-van of the make & model desired, in our price range, and available locally.  For all those things to line up in our small town was all God.  But the biggest surprise was to get to the lot to see what I thought was the car we were meant to buy, only to find, sitting right next to it, the navy blue minivan I'd asked for. Only God.  So we are now driving a navy blue minivan which will fit the five of us with room to spare.  And somehow, He even made the money part work out so that this one, like the Volvo, is fully paid for.  Through the blessing of an unexpected car accident we have the car we need for our growing family.  Praise be to God, who makes all things possible for them that love the Lord! 

Our paperwork is nearing the end of the US immigration approval process, and will be delivered for final travel approval on November 15th.  Travel approval can come anytime after that, most often between two and four weeks.  We are still anxiously awaiting God's plan for our travel.  If the travel approval comes in early December and we can get a consulate appointment before Christmas, we'll travel right away.  If not, it will be January.  Something tells me there is someone we are to meet while we're in China picking up Faith (adoption #4?).  So whenever we finally go, I am confident it will be exactly when we are supposed to be there. 

Finally LOA

It's been a long summer and an even longer wait, but we have finally received the next piece of paperwork in this long adoption journey, our Letter of Acceptance from China, which is the official approval of our application to adopt FuDi.  Next we file more paperwork with USCIS to assure legal immigration status, then another approval from China and then we finally travel to bring her home.  It's usually no more than 3 months for these last steps of the paperwork process, but God has us guessing still - will we be home with her before 2011 is over or will we be traveling just after the new year?  I think about the only thing we can say with assurance she'll be home with us before the end of January.  So much longer than we anticipated....last January I thought we'd be traveling in August.  Ha!  I am just thrilled that we are at the end of the grueling LOA wait.  We were so sure we'd be on the shorter than average and ended up way beyond an average wait.  This last month has been hard.  I have prayed without ceasing, for peace and confidence in the knowledge that God's timing is perfect and everything works together for good for them that love the Lord.  And then immediately I'd be lacking in patience and feeling frustrated.  It's been an opportunity for deepening faith, that's for sure. 

Thanks be to God for His perfect timing in all things.

An update

I can't believe I haven't posted in over a month!  Our dossier went off to China in mid-June and we have an LID of 6/28/11.  We now wait for our LOA (letter of acceptance), which is the next step in the approval process.  The average wait time for this step is 60-90 days.  We're at day 21 and - of course! - hoping for a shorter than average wait.

In the meantime, we received an update on Faith from her SWI, which included answers to questions we'd sent last month.  (Favorite color: yellow and blue, current weight: 48 lbs, shoe size girls US1)  They also sent photos of her wearing the shirt we sent and holding the lamb.  So precious!

She looks a little frightened to me, which just breaks my heart.  I can only imagine how aware she is of how drastically her life will change in just a few short months.  Please pray with us that God wraps her in reassurance about this. 

Memorial Box Monday

It's been awhile since I've posted a MBM but over the weekend we had another God moment that needs to be shared. As I prepared the small box of gifts that we are sending to Faith for her birthday I decided it needed at least a note with her name on it and some birthday wishes. So I found the Chinese version of her medical file to get the Chinese characters for her name. Here are the characters for her first name.

福 娣

I started my letter by pasting in the Chinese characters of her name, Then, using Google translator I typed in a brief greeting, pasting the translated results into my letter. Then I pasted the translation into Google translator to see how it would be re-translated back into English. I wasn't saying anything too elaborate (Happy Birthday, we hope you have a nice day, we love you, from Mama and Baba) so it worked just fine.

Once I had completed that, I decided to see what it would do with the characters of her name. So I pasted the three characters of her name in and clicked translate. And the results? 

Only God!  

Her surname in Chinese is exactly the same as our surname in English! Our last name is a common English word, and the surname given her by the orphanage is the Chinese for that word. How cool is that? We'll adopt her, but her last name won't change.

God is so clever!